It's Over.. Not?

The previous few days were sh*t. 'cept for Monday night because it's student night at The Crags. A quid a pint! Since when was booze so cheap, hahaha.

Other than that, it's been revision all day long. The point is.. that it's not revision that's making me go insane, it's going through this clockwork lifestyle day in and day out. It's finally placed the straw that broke the camel's back (brilliant use of idioms). Plus the Internet Gods aren't treating me well, a connection slower than 56K?! Come on!

Times like these make me wanna just do the things I miss most. Driving. Sigh.. the feeling of the steering wheel, the gearstick, the sensation when I step on the pedal.. the times I used to swear at fools on the road.. cursing whenever some bi*ch lady driver who's running the orange light suddenly decides to jam her brakes, and the deep roars and humms that the engine makes. Aaah..

Frankly speaking, driving a car on the road is like sex to me (no I haven't had sex yet, what a guy can't assume the pleasures/agonies of sex?), however disgusting and perverted that sounds. Hmm.. maybe I've put it wrongly, have it this way, for some guys, satisfaction and dependency comes from girls. For some guys, satisfaction comes from driving or having cars. For some guys, satisfaction comes with having 'brothers', some.. 'sisters' or both. Mine, comes from driving, and having 'brothers'. Sounds a lot less perverse right?

Sigh, it'll all be over after two boring exams. Patience. Ma! The car is mine when I get back!! *grins gleefully* The petrol might be a bother though..

Repressed Media

M Bakri Musa's article today led me to reflect on the corroded amount of trust that I have at this point in mainstream newspapers. 5 years ago, when I first started subscribing to The Star in Form 2, everyone was fighting over the different sections of the newspaper, "Give me the sports section!" "Section Two (what it was called in the old days) is mine okay!" "I want to read the comics!" and on some days I'll end up with a few missing sheets at the end of the day, reading on my way back home from school.

Now? I don't even bother reading the hardcopy anymore. Back in those days, the paper was just 60sen (student rate) and later just RM1, so you could say it's good value for money. Now it's not just bad value for money, it's only useful to use to bungkus my char kuay teow, and my morning meehoon.

It's been made worse by my reading of the local papers here which at least has an editorial section where the editors and columnists dare to voice out their own words. I used to take the opinions of The Star's few columnists (and editor) like Wong Chun Wai, and Wong Sai Wan seriously, it's been reduced to coffeeshop chitchat now.

Waning public confidence in the mainstream media has meant lower circulation numbers, soon companies probably won't bother funding the papers through adverts. To me, it spells doom and condemnation. That's what you get for being used as tools of propaganda by political parties.

At least I still depend on their online portals to check on petty news. Sigh, I miss the old days. Having a newspaper in my hand was a thing to be proud of. Hahahaha, childish thoughts.

Whoops

Went to Glasgow (again?!) for the weekend, this time I stayed 2 nights! To say it was enjoyable is an understatement. To be honest, Glasgow somehow suits me better (in a way) than Edinburgh, probably because I'm a city-kid from young. All the traffic, both human and vehicles, the number of high street shops, the vibrant environment on a Saturday afternoon, and the sheer size of the city.

The main point of going there was for Radiance, a biennial celebration which forms part of Glasgow's Winterfest. Not good, the exhibits were in spocks of buildings spread out throughout the eastern part of the city centre, we went to 3 of them out of a dozen or so and decided to screw the rest and go to George Square instead.

George Square is in stark contrast to the previous buildings that we visited. Sigh, it's times like this I wish the camera on my phone was not 1.3M and that my old camera was still working. With the month-long Winterfest celebrations going on, it's been converted into a funfair themed square smelling of Angus beef, German sausages and deep fried donuts. Aberdeen Angus is simply the best, omg just the thought of it makes me salivate. I don't quite understand this but there are German Christmas markets in both Glasgow's Argyle Street and Edinburgh's The Mound by the National Galleries in their month-long pre-Christmas season.

One thing to note is that the Glaswegian accent is deep, way deeper than the mild Edinburghian and Fife accent. and I took time trying to comprehend it.

Well, that was the height of my stay there, apart from suddenly overcoming a recent 8-month slump in DotA by improving my overall skills and control, and watching one of the most kickass movies of all time.. American Gangster!

Anyway, I'm starving, so I'm going out to get a pizza and microchips now. Plus, I've got a backlog of posts waiting to be put up. So, keep an eye out for this space!

Titles r' Useless

Apparently there are people who care about my blog more than I do =P So, I'll fill it up temporarily while I think of what to write for the future posts.

I've stumbled across this interesting site where lazybums like you lot who're reading this now can do something.. for the world! Apart from the link below, there's a banner which links to the site.. just look above!

That's right.. for every right question answered at freerice.com you donate 10 grains of rice! Through this little gimmick here, I've literally donated the bowl of rice that I had for dinner two nights ago through the internet. How cool is that?

Click on it!

P.S: Thank you people.. for still visiting although the blogger's become a sloth.

15-day Resolution

Will blog about Harnham as soon as I get this essay out of my way. But for now, I vow to:

• Meditate 10mins every alternate night.
• Practice and refine my shuffling skills... every night.
  
• Kurangkan masa yang digunakan untuk lancap.
• Sleep earlier. At 12.
• Wake up earlier. At 9.
• Reduce my sleeping time from 10hours to 9hours.
• Study? .. errrr.. can manage lah.
  

Thank you. Babai. =D

Being Silly

I forgot to post for Friday!
Ah, I'll have to make it up with this piece of crap post.
It seems that of recent my posts have been more of quantity than of quality. Sigh. Anyway, I've got an essay due on Thursday! 2000 words hurrah.. and I haven't started a single bit yet. Oh well, I'll take the entire Saturday afternoon off to work on it.

This means that there'll be no posts on Saturday as well. And probably none on Sunday also since I'll be off for a daytrip to Harnham. It's ok to not know the place, because I'm not sure of it either, I know it's probably 15miles outside of Newcastle. So.. have a good weekend! Drat, my camera's spoiled. Argh.

Nowadays, I'm feeling a lot brighter knowing that the uni term's coming to an end, which means being able to sleep late and wake up late (which is what I've been doing since a month ago), not needing to attend the sleepy lectures, and having lots of time to slack around and start reading up for my Accountancy 1A and Economics end-of-term exams.

Best thing of all, is I'll be getting to drive! again! in about a month's time when I get back. Woohooo can't wait to feel the steering wheel, gearstick.. ahhh... i love driving so much.

I'll end with this handsome photo of me-staring-at-the-computer-screen to look at for the postless weekend. Remember to place it on an altar and worship it okay? Yea that's right! Yeah...

What a sohai yeng look. All the girls not gonna fall for me man..

Frankly Speaking

I wish I had a camera.. that was working. after whatever wild things that happened last night after Reuben-my flatmate's birthday.

Through thorough testings and experimentations (bullsh*t), the newest beer that's come up to the top of my list of beers, is not that shitty Tennents, although Tennents beats the crap out of pumps, is Corona. It's not got that shitty beer taste from malt in it, which I'm not too fond of, it's got a mild taste with a faint whiff of lime in it. So yes Corona Extra beats Carlsberg Export, beats Stella Artois (the UK one, not the import, the import beats all these), beats Strongbow, beats Tiger (<-- definitely). next to try is Kronenbourg 1664, and the famous Bud. Everyone's talking about Bud, and Heineken.

One of the only clear bottle beers.

But then that's beer, nothing beats sipping Baileys listening to jazz in a dimly-lit bar. I'm beginning to love the life and philosophy here. Why? Because everytime it happens, there's this faint feeling of rejoice and light-headedness accompanied not by the thoughts of tomorrow, just of the thought of crashing into bed at the end of the night and waking up to the sounds of Jack Johnson in the late morning.

By the way, I wasn't drunk at all. No really. I'm not hungover either if that's what you're thinking.

THES-QS World University Rankings 2007

These were published last Sunday on the 11th.
The UK and Eire's top universities are here and Europe's top 150 are here.

Guess where Edinburgh is.
Number 5 in the UK, number 5 in Europe, and number 23 in the world.



Wah deng, so happening wei! It's probably not a very great feat to some people though, but for me it's coooool! Go on and check out where your university lies on the world map!

I Refuse

namewee has a new single out. Check it out here.
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Sometimes we are faced with situations which make us think back, and ask ourselves some simple questions. Was I wrong?

I've had it with all these thoughts. I refuse to be dictated by other people's thoughts of me. I refuse to be made to think I made a wrong choice. I refuse to question my own decisions. I refuse to be a pawn on a chessboard. No matter what, I'm now doing what I've chosen to do, although it might be second best. But I'll prove everyone wrong in the future. I'll make those who looked down on me retract back all they said. I'll be my own self. I don't have to follow the pack. I'm pissed.

Self Individuality

I was told that this year there are a heck-lot more 1st year Malaysians staying at Pollocks and that area south compared to places near my flat (north of George Square). Last two years there were a plentiful amount staying in the latter areas. Sigh, poor people like us are isolated, and end up hanging out with the 2nd-3rd year Malaysians who are staying nearby and the Brits.

It's not that it's bad, but then again hanging out with the Brits has it's own merits, like learning to be a heck lot more open and socialable, learning the cultural differences, being able to speak with an accent a lot more quicker (I've got a moderate English and very slight North-eastern accent when I speak now) which is quite cool, but it's influencing my other styles of talking nowadays.

Even my Manglish has a lot less lahs in it already, my Cantonese which has picked up a lot during the summer holidays, has begun to lose some of it's pronounciation too. I guess I'm getting more comfortable talking with an accent instead of last time when it took some effort to speak it out fluently.

I used to think whether would it be better if I stayed in the halls of residences. Would I make more friends? I'd wouldn't have to worry about cooking, wouldn't have to worry about not being excluded from big fun gatherings.. and all the sort.

But then I realise, living in a flat, somehow demonstrates living in a real world, at a time when everything is still raw in the eyes of the unexperienced fresher. I get to dictate my own time at my own pace, get to learn the skills essential of surviving for a day (the dreaded idea of what to eat and how to get it), and get to know the little things that didn't used to be important.

It's the biggest leap I've taken in life so far, and I'm beginning to understand more.. about life and myself. Best thing of all, I love it, I love the idea of being independent, of being an individual, of finding my own way. I simply adore it, the uncanny thought of music-and-religion-infused pathfinding. However random it may sound.

Bleak

Who noticed that my titles make little or no sense to what I'm posting about?

Anyway, my camera died so there's no hope of me posting up pictures at least for this term. No it's not technically dead, apparently when I turned it on it just showed Lens Error, so I googled it up and apparently it was mechanical failure. So.. I'll have to get it fixed back home.

My hopeless 1.3M mobilephone camera .. is definitely a nono when it comes to pictures, which brings me to the point of why of all of a sudden did I want to use my camera. EMSA had a bowling competition, which every team supposedly wins prizes. 8 teams, 8 prizes. Brilliant. Everybody wins, well my team of Julian, Imran, ChoEe and me got fourth. I was lousiest in the team, scoring only a total of 119 in two games (49 in the first <-- noob)
So, there goes half my weekend, along with the afternoon loitering around at Imran's place, ended up sleeping over because I was too tired lazy to walk home at 12. Sunday was a blast too, nobody had plans, so half the day I'm playing Warcraft III by myself with AIs, the other half, understanding more about sportscars, misfiring systems, rotary engines, 4WDs/AWDs from wikipedia. Damn happening right? Now I have to start working on my 2k word essay. Sigh.

Emotional Fallacy

Minister Zamzam alakazam.. got owned by a journalist, first saying, "We allowed it! That's why we are a democracy.. then say it was illegal, why was it illegal?, because there's no point to hold this gathering." Was that a professional rebuke or answer?

Along with Nazri, Zam's lost credibility in my eyes. Made a complete fool out of himself.

Anyway, we've made it to foreign press. BBC, CNN, Reuters, Al Jazeera and ABC has stories on this. Quite the contrary to what Bernama has published. Anyway, when I first saw the descriptions and the pictures, I had a tear in my eyes. The feeling of love towards a country, is just so great.

BERSIH @ Dataran Merdeka

Links
Here
Here
Here
Here
Here

I'll summarise what I've just found out through pocks of information here and there on the net.

-Kuala Lumpur city in gridlock. Roadblocks everywhere on roads leading to KL.
-Massive FRU, Special Branch, and Police presence, chemical-laden water cannons and tear gas used to disperse crowd at certain areas of rallying like Masjid Jamek, Masjid India.
-Dataran Merdeka completely sealed off past 1.20pm.
-Government order to mainstream media not to publish any statements made by BERSIH, previous demonstrations shown on mainstream TV, no coverage allowed on BERSIH.
-TV3 Presenters seen wearing yellow tie =P
-NTV7 claims police "foiled" BERSIH gathering.
- Rumours of the 19th Royal Regiment based in Sungai Petani, Kedah ordered by The Supreme Leader to protect the activists.


-Utusan Melayu front page quotes PM Badawi as saying "Saya Pantang Dicabar".
-Fear Factor utilised to play down people's voice.
-Palace gates left open although severe opposition by police in front of Istana Negara.
-Malaysiakini.com/Malaysia-today.net/HarakahDaily.net all experiencing severe delays.


Al Jazeera's coverage.

Lastly,
More pictures, here.

Al Jazeera ran an interview with the Information Minister on this gathering.
This was one of the feedback I saw.

Saya rasa amat malu dengan temuramah yang di-jalankan olih Al-Jazeerah dengan Menteri Penerangan kita.

Bahasa Inggeris yang di-tuturkan tidak dapat mencerminkan kawalan bahasa yang betul dan isi kata Zam hanya menunjukkan pengetahuan dan pendededahan tipis tentang informasi antarabangsa dan etika dalam temuramah.

Dakwaan Zam yang polis telah mengawal baik keadaan sunnguh menggelikan hati masyarakat kerana ini bercanggah dengan keadaan di-mana polis telah menggunakan gas pemedih mata dan ayer semburan.

Para peserta perhimpunan sa-benar-nya yang telah berkelakuan dengan baik dan mengikut rancangan yang telah di-tentukan untuk berjalan terus ka-istana tanpa melakukan rusuhan atau jenayah melanggar keamanan negara. Pihak polis yang telah melakukan reaksi melebehi dari yang perlu dengan melakukan keganasan menggunakan gas pemedih mata serta water cannon terhadap peserta yang tak berdosa.

Bukan masyarakat Malaysia yang mentertawakan Al-Jazeerah tapi masyarakat dunia yang mentertawakan Zam dengan bahasa pincang-nya dan kebodohan-nya tidak menhiraukan bukti yang pihak polis ada menggunakan kekerasan yang tidak perlu dan lagi melebehi kadar kawalan yang di-perlukan.

Sa-kurang2-nya Malaysia harus melantik Menetri Penerangan yang lebih berwibawa dan pintar berfikir sa-cara professional dan mempunyai kawalan bahasa Inggeris yang bolih di-banggakan. Sungguh malu.

I'll end it with this question. Our Agong, the Supreme Ruler has made it clear that he allows the representatives of BERSIH to present a memorandum to him. Why is it that PM Badawi does not dare to criticise the Agong? Instead, blaming all this as an challenge to the country's stability? Why is it that the PM does not view this as an opposition to the government? Why are all the BN Component Party members giving the silent treatment? Is our de-facto law minister going to say, "100,000 is not the the majority, it's not 27mil people, we only care if the majority wants a change."?

My duly respect to all the coordinators and organisers of this rally. My utmost honor to see the royals accepting the memorandum and recently addressing the people's problems.

Daulat Tuanku.
Daulat Tuanku.
Daulat Tuanku.

Titles That Don't Make Sense

I've breached the 20 unique views a day mark, probably bordering on 30 now. Now this is a considerable achievement considering a month ago I was still entertaining 13 happy readers a day.. which is weird, because it's a sudden jump.

Thus, this hypothesis has been proven true.. somewhat. More posts = somehow more traffic.

Anyway, I've lost sight of what I've wanted to write about, so I'll just stick to this for today. I've stumbled across a few songs by Disturbed. And they kickass.. especially this song.
Disturbed – Stricken It's only a preview =(

Oh and the new album by Jay Chou 周杰伦 titled 我很忙,
is brilliant so far. I've not a particular fan of his, just thought I might note it down. Note: Track 07 is real good. Thanks to ShiYing for sending me all 56MB of the album through MSN hehehe =D

Celebrasi

Finally, it's done. The project which I've wasted countless hours on, is over! From my impression of the two tutors that came around to evaluate and ask us questions, I think they were pretty happy with the presentation.

David Letterman feels the same way too.

And then we had to evaluate another group, and boy.. that group was rubbish. Sorta. Asked them questions and they were like, "Dunno" while staring wide-eyed. I tell you, some people are just.. hilarious.

Yay, yay, yay I'm so thrilled it's over!

Let's see what else do I have on my to-do list. This saturday - EMSA bowling meet, Nov 18 - Harnham trip.. probably. Nov 22 - business essay dateline, (someone help me!) Ugh, the holidays are approaching so quickly. I can still remember the time when I started my first day at university. It's probably just me but time really zooms by. Yeah, probably just me. Wake up at 10, about 6+ hours of daylight and it's already dark. Sigh, winter.. although it's pretty, is not very nice.

Btw, it's probably too late, but Happy Deepavali~

If Only Today Was National Skirt-Wearing Day

I'll proudly unveil what I've just found out.



Windy, and cold. Well not just windy. Really windy! It's gonna be fun trying to fight the winds while walking. This is one thing that you absolutely have to experience. Walking with an inclination of around 30degrees just to avoid being blown off. =)

Aaah, if only all the ladies wore poodle skirts like Marilyn Monroe on days like this..

But the night's gonna be so chilly. Brrr.. the more the reason to stay snuggled in bed, drinking warm tea, watching silly videos on YouTube. Ta~ time to go sleep now.

I Not Stupid

What's Pak Lah's intention of launching the ECER, NCER and IDR, three economic corridors in less than 3 months gap each? Vote fishing?

Unfortunately, this sends out the message that the coalition is trying desperately to fish for votes to continue their mandate. He knows he has failed to keep his manifesto promises, and that is the most important thing, not enriching yourself and your tingkat-4 goons.

The Khairy Chronicles, is a series of episodes that somehow explain Mr Son-in-law's intention to become PM at 40. It's interesting to look at it in the context of a story. Read here and here for the summary of it. I guarantee it's a full-of-details, eye-opening experience of what's happening behind the scene. Seriously. You never knew so much about the ECM-Libra - Avenue Capital merger, the link between Singapore, GLCs, and Mr SIL, and his strategies of planting his allies into key government and state seats to sabotage the old guards which are against him. Better than reading a thriller. In fact it completely changes your entire perception of the Abdullah administration.

Solace

The view of Edinburgh at midnight from Holyrood Park is.. stunning. Makes me want to get an SLR camera. Hmmph. I wanted to go and watch the fireworks there at night but I didn't want to go alone, luckily Reuben - my flatmate, wanted to go at quarter-past eleven. It sucked though, we only got to smell the sorta acrid smell of burnt gunpowder, while throngs of people descended from Arthur's Seat. I swear the next year I'll bring along a better camera than my stewpid mobilephone camera. Should have taken the picture of some firemen getting geared up for something that we thought was a bonfire, but turns out to be bushfire.

Speaking of which, I've recently realised that there isn't enough time in a day. I practically sleep for 10 hours, go to lectures for 3 hours and the remaining time.. is not enough~ A few rounds of DotA after dinner.. and it's already 11.. wtf right?

So now here I am, lying on my bed, finding comfort and retreat in the Great Compassion Mantra.. with my stomach telling me to eat a biscuit or two. And it's already 1.12 in the morning. Time flies.

Damage Assessment

Screw what I've said earlier of not posting. Feel like getting things out of my head, so I'm writing them down.
-----
I've been dreaming the same sort of dreams every night, it's something that I can't quite get the hang of. For the last year or so, I've remembered less dreams, and had less troubled nights than the past week combined. But the thing about the dreams is, it's the same people. It's the same everyday thing dreamt. So, end result is I wake up usually in some level of shock being unable to comprehend what is going on.

I've not experienced dreams in a long time, usually just deep empty sleep, and waking up feeling refreshed. Nowadays, I can't even sleep easily. I kept the tradition of listening to podcasts since CC, and well, usually I'll be dozing off before my computer shuts down. Now, I'm wide awake and turning about restlessly long after it turns off by itself.

This incidents, I can't explain what's causing them, but they're probably either cause or effect of recent unrest going on in my mind. The weird thing about these dreams are that they are indifferentiable with reality. Well, put it simply, I can't tell whether they are dreams or memory recalls.

Plus, I can't say that these unrests are similar to the pre/post-breakup depression. They're not lovesick emo-times as well. No, they are no longer superficial. I can't even understand the basis of this.

Spent the entire morning looking up wikipedia on common symptoms. This is going to be funny. I have symptoms which make up part of the following disorders (recently).
Non-24-hour sleep-wake syndrome
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Anhedonia (just wanted to add this for fun)
and the most accurate one
Atypical depression

The DSM-IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines Atypical Depression as a subtype of depression or dysthymia, characterized by Atypical Features:

A. Mood reactivity (i.e., mood brightens in response to actual or potential positive events)
B. At least two of the following:

1. Significant weight gain or increase in appetite ("comfort eating")[3]
2. Hypersomnia (sleeping too much, as opposed to the insomnia present in melancholic depression)
3. Leaden paralysis (i.e., heavy, leaden feelings in arms or legs)
4. Long-standing pattern of interpersonal rejection sensitivity (not limited to episodes of mood disturbance) that results in significant social or occupational impairment (not long-standing.. probably 3 days or so)

C. Criteria are not met for Melancholic Depression or Catatonic Depression during the same episode.

By the ICD-10 classification, it will fall in the category of F32 or F39.

I'm probably going too far, to be honest, for 1 or 2 hours only I'm feeling like that, for the rest of the time I'm still an idiot full of sh*t.

Well, put it this way, did any of u guys notice a change in tone from the start to the end of this post?
I started at 11.21, end .. well.. at halfpast 3.
Shows how 'moodswingy' i've been =P

Anyway, I must have scared some people off by saying I'm depressed. Hahahaha, that's just assuming the worst. I'm not depressed just having a lot of things on my mind, that I can only have access to at certain times of the day, which is so weird. Like I can't think of what's bothering me now, but I know it 5 hours ago.

The mind is a powerful tool. Don't mess around with it. But it's messing around with me now. <--dammit! But, music helps, and noobshuffling (because I'm a newbie) too, so does having an aim. Screw it I'm just going to focus on my 2000word essay due on the 22nd and stop fretting about other stuff that I've lost control over. But I still find my dreams.. incomprehensible and freaky.

P.S: As much as I find Mika's voice annoying, his songs are actually quite addictive. No, not THAT addictive.

P.P.S: Gahhh, I'll probably miss out Charis's birthday at JimmyChung at 6 and the HKIS Guy Fawke's fireworks celebration tonight for a project meeting. Why lah must all good things happen, when I'm busy?! When I'm dead bored, nothing happens.

Tooooot

Just wanna say, that I won't be posting anything for the next few days. Real busy with my project but turns out I've wasted half a day because of the stupid things I've done, should have just gone out to watch a movie but nooooooo, have to do work, which I then forgot to save.. then redo.. then wrong data.. then redo again. Sigh, I sense myself becoming emo already. .. emotional.. sigh.

Note: Why is it so hard, to not get attracted to someone! I don't want to! Hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate =(

Last-Minute Desperation?

PAS usually shows its true colours when a general election is looming and it is its unrelenting quest to set up an "Islamic state" at all cost, said Gerakan secretary-general Datuk Seri Chia Kwang Chye.
Source

And here I thought Gerakan was one of the more ethical and principle-upholding parties in the coalition government, well at least from what I see in history. Two men whose views I've treated with respect are both Penang CMs (Dr Lim Chong Eu and Dr Koh Tsu Koon, both highly educated, men of principle), and both held posts as Gerakan chief, so my perception of Gerakan .. well.. should be clean. Datuk Seri, you bad egg. =(

Well, not only PAS has been on the receiving end, DAP too has been frequently criticised by the Information Minister Zainuddin Maidin.

Every vote given to the DAP will only weaken the Chinese representation in the Government, said Information Minister Datuk Seri Zainuddin Maidin.

It would not help the Chinese community if they did not support the Barisan Nasional, he said.
Source

Well, isn't that just being hypocritical. Both hailing from the coalition party that is so used to calling the opposition "dirty, and using underhanded tactics". Since when was a 'democracy-as you so proudly call it' subjected to party figures playing the 'race' and 'fear' cards?