Contemplation

I've just gone to a farewell party of a friend of mine. How do I put it, the house, the neighbourhood was all lovely. Met lots of people there, every one of them old friends. But, there's a feeling of mellowness, the moment of meeting that certain someone, I can just feel the situation. Everything since then, is different. Everything since then, will have changed. My friends are still very fun to hang out with, and although I seem different, look different, I guess it's the picture that I've painted of myself, and that I cannot repaint that picture for fear of shock, and misrecognition. Perhaps I have silenced the voice that has cried inside of me, perhaps it's just me thinking too much. But I'll have to accept the fact, that I have been crying all this while, with my outer ego covering me. I have changed hearts since then, and not given up hope of finding happiness. In fact, there is happiness out there, it's just a matter of time, and person.

Asking myself, why am I still letting my heart cry? I'm afraid that can't be answered. Probably I'm too afraid to open up again for fear of getting hurt one more time. Probably I haven't got enough confidence. But why, am I still letting myself bring up previous griefs? I've been keeping faith in my own strength for the past 5 months, but why are all the thoughts running through my mind like wind rustling through leaves? One troubling question is.. what has she thought of me all this while?

Now that I've written this out, I guess I feel better. I don't have anyone to talk to about this, so I shall share it with my blog. How nice would it be, to have warmth, and a place where all this insecurity and fear can be cast aside. Maybe, mine will come in due time. Yeah, it'll come in due time..

At the end of the night, I can't help but think, people have grown up so much already. Friends are leaving to different parts of the world. Choices are being made, sacrifices are done, the time for separation is nearing, while the time for faith and independence has come. Boys have grown into men, driving their cars, and standing tall and proud. Girls have grown into fine ladies, wearing perfumes, and makeups.

I guess I'm pretty screwed at this point. Turns out to be a fine mess I've gotten myself into. Left the party at 12.05am, dropped off 3 friends and reached home at 12.45am. Dad's quite ok with it, but mum's angry. But I understand.. she's just worried about crime, especially with all the cases happening at night, after midnight.

Ah well, time to just feel guilty for what I have done for making my parents worried, to patch up things back here at home, and to move on with life. I might be probably thinking too much.

Malaysia Should Follow Australia's Footsteps

Well, they should. Australia has recently introduced a series of TV ads directed to drivers. This time, instead of focusing on the consequences of speeding, they are now questioning the manhood of the drivers. Right.. the manhood.


Source: BBC
Watch the RTA Commercial!
We should do this, as well.. first, to those Mat Rempit outside there. What say you?

America's Strength

This week's editorial in The Economist titled The hobbled hegemon really picked up on me. Basically saying, that the reason for America's decline is its misuse of power. Rather unsurprising when you find out that one senior ex natsec-advisor to ex-President Jimmy Carter has given George W Bush an F for "catastrophic leadership. Otherwise, many good points in that article.

Speaking of which, it's so goddamn hot in Malaysia. One thing I found out was that after so long in the UK, I've gotten a thicker layer of skin, or probably an insulation layer of some sort, slower response negative-feedback system, and higher internal body temp. It feels like a 24-hour sauna. Gosh!!

Time to figure out what to do with 3.5 months here. Probably not games though. One thing on my mind is.. how are the rest of my buddies doing right now? Hmm.

Lots of official things to do anyway, like renewing my passport, applying for a new visa, applying for a new IC, probably take my IELTS test although I might not need it, and applying for a portfolio account to play around with. Kewlll.. but but best of all! I get to drive!! It feels so good after 6 months not touching the steering wheel.

It's Done!

Wuhahahaha, finally my A-levels is finished and done for! Lalala dum dee dum..

Floods in KL!

When I first read it I was thinking.. isn't the SMART tunnel supposed to divert rainwater away? Then only I found out that the floodwater diversion part was due in a month. I don't recall any worst flood than this one, judging from the pictures, because I've never seen Jalan Tun Ismail flooded so deeply before! I'll save the criticism for now, because building all these take time. And also it's good to know that it'll be completed ahead of schedule. Thank god they're only charging RM2 for the tunnel.

Here's some pictures:

A shot from Jalan Tun Ismail

Massive Traffic Jam at the Indonesian Embassy near Jalan Tun Razak tunnel

Jalan Tun Perak flooded

Massive traffic jam at Jalan Tun Razak (the SMART tunnel is on the left)

Source: The Star Gallery